Top Social

SINCERELY, IFEANYI

Image Slider

WHAT YOU DESERVE

3.31.2017

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been borderline obsessed growing my library collection. There’s something strangely powerful to me about picking up a book and peering into the minds of another creative. Since I don’t believe I have a morsel of creativity embedded in my DNA, I’m drawn to individuals who are able to put into words how I feel on the inside. I started this new read while on vacation (new to me at least) entitled “To The Women I Once Loved” by Pierre Alex Jeanty. Now, I haven’t finished this book, but when I tell you every time I reached a new poem, young Pierre had me in my feelings for a smooth 3 hours. The kind of raw emotion he was able to evoke out of me and the sheer beauty of his writing truly manifested deep in my core. I just had to share a snippet with you guys. If you’re looking for a good quick read I definitely suggest you guys check it out. #yallthinkhesmarried?

“You deserve more of their attention than their phone does.
You deserve quality time, not just time.
You deserve effort, not just routines.
You deserve to be treated as if you are a priority, not the last thing on their checklist.
You are special and you deserve to be the only option.
If that is too much to ask, you are asking it from the wrong person.
If begging ever becomes your last approach to receive those things which ought to be freely given, it’s safe to say, you are out of your dang mind.
Begging to be loved is suicide.
It’s like going sky diving from the Eiffel Tower naked of proper equipment, and expecting gravity to overturn the outcome.
It’s like a queen begging her servants to serve her or a lion running away from its prey.
Insanity it is for a woman like you to come second or second to last on everything.
It would be an injustice for a woman like you to ever fall for a man whose words aren’t soaked in integrity and seasoned with consistency.
An injustice, I say, to give your body to men who wouldn’t dare walk next to you in public nor ever consider standing next to you at the altar.
You are more than, “wifey material.”
You are more than potential.
You are a beautiful bride who ought to be waiting on her groom. Only a man willing to fulfill that position in your life deserves you.”

I'm Just Sayin' #2: Strugglin' Romantic

3.02.2017
Hi! Hey there! Hellooooo?! Remember me? It has literally been ages since I sat down and actually wrote a post to share with you guys. I can’t even say “Please don’t be mad or hate me!” because if I’m completely honest with myself, the only people reading this is the #PLP gang and my sisters. LOL, hey y’all!! In the off chance I happen to have an audience greater than 5 people, let me apologize for being MIA. Life and adulting took over and well, that’s pretty much self-explanatory. Either way, I hope to be back on a schedule and providing you babies content regularly.

Awesome! Now that we got that out the way, I’m a little hype this week, because this post marks the first of (what I hope is) many posts where I answer or share my thoughts on questions you guys send me. About a week ago (WEEEKKK AGOOOOO #freeshmurda #FreeThe9), I’m casually checking my email and to my surprise, in my inbox, there was an email from a subscriber! I didn’t know if I should be happy or worried that it was a scam lol, but either way, here I am writing this post!

For the sake of this post, I’m going to refer to this young woman as Tabby; hey Tabby girl! So I don’t have to paraphrase her email, I’ve copied + pasted the important bits.

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 5 months now and up until this point everything has been perfect. We met through some mutual friends and there was an instant connection. Everything was there: physical attraction, chemistry, and our personalities meshed amazingly. To top it all off, he treats me like a queen. Any free time I have is spent with him. I’ve never had someone give me their full and undivided attention whenever I wanted it. He takes me out constantly, buys me gifts, spends time with me, and tells me how beautiful I am. If I could design my perfect guy, he would definitely be it. Our entire relationship felt like something straight out of a film and girl I was in love! After 3 months of dating I just knew this man was special and I wasn’t letting him go for nothing.

About a month ago, I started to notice a slight change in his behavior. The phone calls/text stopped coming as frequently, the gifts stopped coming, and I found myself reaching out more and more to make plans when that was something he did. First didn’t say anything but the more I left it alone the more it bothered me. Of course after talking to my girlfriends about it, everyone was like “girl, he’s cheating; GTFO Now!” It crossed my mind, of course, and if it turned out to be true, well bye. I don’t have time for that. I finally gave in and asked him what’s good…Nicki Minaj style. Do you know what this man told me? That he doesn’t see it working out long term because I’m too obsessed with fairy tale love. That I expect things and life to work out in ways that it’s portrayed in movies and tv shows. That he refuses to be with a woman who’s too caught up in unrealistic views of love or what a relationship should be. I was a little confused but it made me think because this is something I’ve been told in previous relationships but never really paid attention to because it was obviously bulls***.

By nature, I’m an optimist. I believe that everything will work out how it’s intended to. I genuinely believe that soul mates and true love exist. I am talking about that “forever, till death do us part" type love. I’ve always imagined real love to be something where you can communicate with no words. Where you are on the same wavelength 24/7. Altercations can be solved without yelling. You love hearing each other talk. I imagine love is reaching out with your heart, and really being able to feel that person there. You can feel their presence in the air even when they’re not there. Whenever I have been in mutual "love" with someone and the relationship is getting really serious, I reach out with my heart, trying to connect with them on some deeper level. That’s what I attempted to do with my boyfriend but I felt nothing. It was like reaching out to a rock.

I’m also very petty so once he finished reading me for filth chile, I told his ass to get out. If he can’t keep up with the type of relationship he provided me then step. I guess my question is am I wrong for believing in the type of love that all romantic movies have proclaimed since the beginning of romantic movies? And should we try to work it out? Besides him being all about me, this man was dope and I would hate to let it die if it’s something we can work on…

Signed,
Stugglin' Romantic”

There was quite a bit more to this email but it wasn’t necessary information. Long and short of the matter is I…(notice how I said I? As in me and my personal opinion, so don’t come for me) do not believe romantic love is real. Hell, I can’t say I believe true love or soul mates exist. To me, love is not something you fall into. If it were, it would be easy throughout. It’s choice that you make. Infatuation and lust is something that you fall into because it doesn’t take work to be attracted to someone.

Girlfriend, you have to let that shit go. Growing up we’re fed stories of Prince Charming coming down and swooping us off our feet and living happily ever after. If you want that sort of fairy-tale ending, I suggest you take up a job in Hollywood and get your acting on. The keywords there are “growing” and “up.” As we mature and experience more of what life has to offer, we learn that half of the shit they fed us as children was absolute trash. So I wouldn’t say you are wrong for believing in romantic love, but you aren’t being realistic of the ways of adulthood by thinking that’s what mature/deep love is. Real love, deep love, is expressed by action and actions are choices we make. None of this ‘gaze into your eyes’ and ‘leap off into the horizon with a pocketful of sunshine’ nonsense. I feel like plenty women confuse romance and lust with real love. Romantic love is our desire to not be alone; to be connected to a person who will make us feel like Cinderella after Whitney cleaned her up. Romantic love sells books and movies and music, and that is why it persists.

I don’t think you need to get back with him right now. You need to spend some time focusing on you and really addressing why and where your idea of love comes from. Love is give and take. From your email, it seems as though he was giving in abundance and it wasn’t reciprocated (correct me if I’m wrong). He took the time to express his feelings when asked and you chucked up the deuces when you didn’t get the response you wanted. So I think you need to take some time to yourself girl. The more you take responsibility for your own feelings, the more you’ll start to see how your own self-messages/ideas of love control your emotional responses. And the more you work on that, the more you can accept your future partner for who they are and what mature love truly is.

Hope that helps! As always leave me a comment and let me know what you think of Tabby. If you need advice or have a question you want answered, drop me a comment or send me an email. Bisous! <3

Things that Piss Me The F*** Off

12.21.2016
  1. Stupid drivers: IDK what trap house you got your license from but get off the road before I run you off the freeway
  2. When people ask me the same question twice: how bout you fucking listen the first time?
  3. Hyphenated names: make up your mind on who you want to be
  4. Bad "I know how to cook" Cooks: no you don't, sit down, take this menu from Papa John’s, and shut up
  5. Instagram Models: I'm not knocking your hustle but you know good and damn well flat tummy tea don't work
  6. Asking me to "hold a dollar:" first of all idk why we friends if you don't have a dollar to your name
  7. Men who don't take no for an answer: I tried to be polite, but ask for my number again and I swear I’m coming for you and your Sean Jean track suit.  
  8. People who don't LOVE Beyoncé: just die.
  9. Unnecessary lies: my dude, I don't care if you don't want to chill. Why your grandma gotta be in the hospital tho?
  10. Habitual complainers: y'all already know how I feel about them (see post here)
  11. I got a degree but no common sense type people: I'm sure Devry offered a course on how to act right
  12. When people bump into bump into me and have the NERVE to look at me like I owe them an apology. If I slap you…
  13. America: I wasn't made for this country, my soul is somewhere roaming the streets of Paris
  14. Not hot, Hot Sauce: I'm out here expecting the firey pits of hell and instead I get flavored food coloring, smh
  15. When someone accidentally puts me on mute then proceeds to yell in the phone like I'm the one who can't hear them!
  16. Lines at Chipotle
  17. Carpooling with someone who doesn't like to play music during the drive: So I’m supposed to listen to your breathing for the next 3 hours?
  18. Oyibo people who want to be down so bad: just stop.
  19. Lace Frontals: Girlfriend, I’m telling you this because I love you, there is nothing natural about that hairline. Stick to 4x4 closures or U-Part wigs
  20. Expensive wine that tastes like $2.00 boxed wine
  21. Cheap tasting wine that wasn't that cheap
  22. Long wait times to speak with customer service
  23. Conservatives.
  24. When I warm up food and it's still cold in the middle
  25. People who ask me if my hair is ACTUALLY my hair, nah fool it's just growing from my scalp for fake.
  26. Having to apologize for speaking on how I feel. Sorry not sorry if you're offended
  27. Offering someone a stick of gum and the person actually accepts it
  28. Wash Day: all my naturals understand
  29. Ice cold water. Maybe I’m bougie but I like my water room temperature. Anything colder than that’s make my mouth hurt.
  30. Recording myself singing. One minute I'm Beyoncé and the next I'm Ice JJ Fish
  31. Bills: adulting fucking sucks
  32. Waiting for my phone to charge
  33. Having to explain myself...I'm a grown ass woman, don't question me.
  34. Anti-Climatic stories: I wasted 10 mins of my life listening to your boring story and no one got shot? What was the point!
  35. People without a plan: how do you see this going? HOW SWAY???!
  36. 1st grade level texters, hit me up when you learn that b4 is spelled before and cummin/coming are two different things
  37. People who don’t say “Thank-You” after I’ve taken time out of my precious day to hold the door open for them. I hope the door meets your face next time.
  38. When someone gives me a bag of Cheetos instead of Flaming Hot Cheetos
  39. Clean white chucks: lol am I the only one that thinks white chucks are supposed to be slightly dirty?
  40. Running out of bundles before I get to the closure.
  41. Seeing my coworkers out side of work. Our paths are NOT supposed to cross
  42. Hearing "One Number" by Ayo Jay on the radio like it’s a new song but it came out well over 3 years ago
  43. Struggle ponytails: baby girl, you don't have enough hair for what you're trying to accomplish
  44. Holding elevators for people: I’m trying to be a good citizen and hold this elevator for you. That doesn’t mean you should walk 0.10 mph. Hustle!
  45. When people try to talk to me even though I have my headphones in: I’m clearly ignoring you, take the hint.
  46. Having to take a shit after I just finished showering: I promise you I’m holding that bad boy in
  47. Slow talkers: Will you get to the point already!
  48. People who parallel park their cars 1 cm away from my trunk: When I back out and hit your shit, I don’t want to hear a damn thing.
  49. Accidentally picking up a FaceTime call during a meeting and it’s your sister yelling at you for giving your other sister the latest TEA on her love life.
  50. THOT Nails: there is no reason anyone should have 3D Hello Kitty nails with rhinestones and gems.
  51. Burnt rice: this type of thing shouldn’t just happen
  52. Black & Mild/Blunt Lips: I’m sorry but why are your lips so black??
  53. Pointless snaps from people I don’t speak to: why do you think I care about the topping on your salad?
  54. Waiting for the meat to defrost
  55. When people mispronounce my name even though I told you how to say it at least 3 times
  56. Enemies of progress
  57. Unblended makeup: Sweetie, did you know your face and neck don’t match?
  58. Life. (S/O to my besties #PLP)
Let me know what pisses you guys off. I cannot be the only one who get's annoyed at any of these things Leave me a comment below!

10 UNDER-EXPOSED MUST HAVE APPS

11.18.2016

As much as I hate to admit it, I spend way too much time on my phone, computer, iPad, etc. then I do actually interacting with people. No, I’m not anti-social nor do I quiver at the thought of having to engage with other people (although I do think EIS, hahah s/o to Ijeoma).  However, if I’m being honest with myself, 70 percent of my day is spent connected to some form of technology. Whether I’m at work, class, home, car, I am, in some shape or fashion, connected to the cyber world. From laptops, to tablets, to smartphones, it seems like I would be completely lost without the modern day, instant gratification, type of technology that I've become so accustomed to. I do sometimes wonder whatever happened to the days when you had to check the yellow pages for ya homegirl's number? Or heading to Ask Jeeves to get a MapQuest print out for your 9 hour car ride? Or what about using slow-ass dial-up to instant message your friends on AIM (who needs texting anyways?). If you agreed with any of my last three points, I need you to get with the times sistah girl! No shade to those who appreciate the 1990-2000s technology struggle but let's be real: we all have busy schedules and the more we can get done in a 24-hour period the better. So naturally I'm an extreme advocate for maximizing my time as efficiently as possible. Below are my top 10 must have app every 20-something year old should have on their phone that don't include Snapchat, Venmo, Pintrest, Facebook, or Instagram. 

Yummly (iPhone & Android): I like to consider myself a baby Master Chef and Gordon Ramsey should sign me, but sometimes I find myself preparing and eating the same meals for weeks straight. Yummly is basically like having an encyclopedia of food recipes at your fingertips.

Vivino (iPhone & Android): For all my winos this app is totally for you. The Vivino app allows you to search, scan wine bottle labels, even full wine list and within a matter of seconds you have customer ratings and reviews on your wine of choice. It also shows you details about the wine (region, age, taste) and its average price. No more circling the wine & spirit store for ages aimlessly trying to decide if a $15.99 bottle of Malbec is going to be worth it.

OpenTable (iPhone & Android): I promise these are not all about food and drinks! Open table is a great app for those who hate calling restaurants to make a reservation. Something about hearing the receptionist shout over the loud guest in the background to take down my reservation is not appealing. With this app you can make reservations at some of the most popular restaurants in town within a matter of seconds. The one downside to this app is it only great for those who live in major cities, sorry!

Mint (iPhone & Android): 9/10 times I have no idea when my bills need to be paid or how much needs to be paid. Mint is a great app to organize your finances. You’ll be able to see when money is coming in and when it comes out. By setting your spending goals and habits you can easily keep track of your money without having to worry. Plus there’s the added bonus of getting a reminder whenever a bill due date is approaching.

Hopper (iPhone & Android): I’m sure you guys know by now I love traveling! In my previous blog post I gave you guys some tips and tricks on how to travel smartly (read post here). Using Hopper is one way I do so. It allows me track flight prices when they go up and down and lets me know when the best predicted time to actually book the flight is! Awesome tool so you don't have to check flights daily, it does it for you.

TrueCaller (iPhone & Android): So I’m that girl who doesn’t pick up random phone calls (I done did some things y’all…lol jk) but I’m always curious as to who was calling especially if they don't leave a voicemail. True caller is great because it allows you to search random phone numbers and it gives you the name and way too much information about the caller in my opinion.

Flipboard (iPhone & Android): “With so much drama in the L-B-C. It's kinda hard bein' Snoop D-O-double-G.” Lol I really just wanted to find a way to put that line in this post. Seriously though, with so much drama and wahala in this country, I need to stay updated on everything that’s happening and using Flipboard is perfect for that. It’s a news app that allows you to customize your news board so that topics that actually interest you are at your disposal. It updates your board with articles from various news and social media sites so that you don't have to check multiple websites for your daily news. From politics, to sports, to cooking, fashion, healthcare, etc. literally it has it all. Stay up-to-date with all the current events with Flipboard.

Evensi (iPhone & Android): I pretty much never make plans for the weekend, mainly because I enjoy staying in 9 times out of 10; but for those that actually enjoy getting out and are always on the hunt for events happening around your city, Evensi is for you. This app is filled with more than 10 million events that you can select based on your interest. With this app you have the choice to manually search for new events by browsing the Evensi map, or you can create a customized dashboard of your personal interest and Evensi will only show you events that are relevant to your preferences. No more complaining you have nothing to do this Saturday night.

Nike+ Training Club (iPhone & Android): Possibly one of my all-time favorite apps. I’ve mentioned this app before in my workout routine post (click here), so of course it made it on my list of favs. The NTC app is perfect for setting realistic health and exercise goals. This app offers FREE and effective workouts for whatever level you find yourself. It’s constantly being updated to included newer exercises. It’s like a personal trainer and pushes me to go harder every time while keeping me on track with a workout plan I customized to reflect the changes I want to see. Amazing all around.

Snapseed (iPhone & Android): This app is tied with VSCOcam for me. Both apps are great for photo editing but I had to go with snapseed because it allows me to edit every aspect of an image with amazing detail and precision. Now it’s not the most intuitive photo editing app out there, but once you get the hang of it, what a breeze to use.

I hope this list is helpful to some of you guys. Let me know if you have or have tried some of these app. 

NIGERIAN COCONUT JOLLOF RICE

10.28.2016
It’s hard to talk about Nigerian dishes without mentioning Jollof Rice. It's pretty much a staple in every Nigerian home and every Nigerian Party. I have never met a Nigerian, or West African for that matter, who hasn’t had jollof at least once and I sincerely pray I never do. It literally takes two of my favorite things (rice and stew) and combines it into one BOMB ass dish. Now traditional jollof rice is amazing on its own but somedays when I want that extra oomph, I’ll jazz it up and make coconut jollof rice. It has all the deliciousness of regular jollof and the sweet surprise of coconut, literally my mouth is watering while writing this you guys. Coconut Jollof Rice is the purest form of pleasure. It just makes you feel good and want to shakiti bobo all up and down the place.


Ingredients


Meats and Rice:
1 pound beef
1 pack of mixed chicken (breast/thigh, drumstick, wings) I will not be using chicken in this recipe but it is an option
4 cups long grain parboiled rice

Herbs and Produce:
1 large red onion
2 garlic cloves
2 habanero peppers *if you are not into spicy food, you may want to skip this or use 1 habanero pepper
5 roma tomatoes
2 ½ cup tomato stew
2 ½ cup (1 ½ cans, each 13.66 oz.) coconut milk
Parsley leaves for garnish (fresh or dried)

Spices:
3 knorr (maggi) cubes
2 tablespoon Himalaya Pink salt (sea salt can be substituted here)
2 tablespoons freshly ground pepper
¼ cup onion powder
¼ cup garlic powder
½ tablespoon curry powder


A common misconception is that making jollof is quick. Umm no. It’s actually a fairly long process but well worth it, I promise! If you are nothing like me and don't have stew already prepared (sidenote: a HUGE party foul in the Nigerian community is when your freezer isn't forever stocked with stew) you have to prepare the tomato stew (recipe here). Once thawed/prepared, set aside for later. I also like to add fried tomato to my jollof. To do this, cut and blend the Roma tomatoes with the habanero peppers, garlic cloves, and ½ of the large red onion. Once blended, heat in medium sized pot over medium-high heat. When all the water has evaporated add enough vegetable oil to cover the tomatoes, 1 knorr cube, and reduce the heat to low. Fry the tomatoes for a minimum of 20 minutes or until the tomatoes have clearly separated from the oil. Stir continuously during this time to prevent burning. Set aside when done.


I like beef with my jollof but feel free to use whatever kind of meat tickles your fancy. Cut the beef into large block pieces. In a large pot, season the pieces with salt, pepper, garlic, onion, and curry powder; Begin cooking on medium-high heat with 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil (no need to add water at this point because beef generates its own water. Once brown (caramelized) add enough water to cover the meat, the remaining red onion,and knorr cubes. Start cooking until the beef is nice and tender (approximately 30-35 minutes). When done, drain the beef stock and set aside, then fry pieces with a small amount of vegetable oil. This is to give it a golden brown look; it’s all about presentation peeps.




Since I’m using parboiled rice, I only rinse it until the water runs clear. Rinsing the rice removes any extra starch. In a large pot (large enough to hold all the ingredients we just prepared) add the beef stock, coconut milk, and the tomatoes stew, NOT THE FRIED TOMATO, and bring to a boil. Add the rinsed parboiled rice, salt and pepper to taste. Add water to cover the rice (if necessary). Cover and cook on medium-low heat until all the water has dried up and the rice is fully cooked. You may have to periodically top off the water if the water dries up before the rice is finished cooking. Once the rice has finished cooking (confirm by tasting) add the fried tomato, stir, and TA DA! We’re finished!

Serve with Beef piece Fried Plantain, Nigerian Moi Moi, & garnish with parsley leaves.



If you have any questions about preparing Coconut Rice, drop a comment below <3

Auto Post Signature

Auto Post  Signature